Turning Feelings Into Words

Practical Tips to Grow Young Children’s Emotional Vocabulary

How can you tell what another person is feeling? Is it in their body language or facial expression? Is it more concrete - such as something they say directly to you?

We all experience a variety of feelings every day.

Learning how you feel, how you can communicate your feelings to others, and how to respond to other’s feelings is an essential part of every human being’s development. Together, the skills of identifying emotions and reading and responding to other people’s emotions combine to create a skill known as Emotional Intelligence, or Emotional Literacy. Every day, young children (even infants and toddlers) are learning how to understand, regulate, and express their emotions.

Often, we have lots of feelings but struggle to find the words to describe them. Expanding your ability to talk about your feelings is one way to build your Emotional Vocabulary.

Why Is Emotional Vocabulary Important?

Many adults provide words for the strong and common emotions children feel, like happiness, sadness, and anger, but we sometimes overlook the fact that there’s a large and varied vocabulary of emotions. Children need a larger pool of words to draw on to be able to express all their emotions as well as to be able to read the cues that indicate other people’s feelings.

Children can learn about different emotions and the words associated with emotions through books, age-appropriate videos, and teacher (or parent) )-led lessons. Most frequently, though, they absorb the lessons that are going on around them.

You only need to spend a short amount of time with young children before you realize how often feelings and emotions are part of your day. Using everyday situations, you can build children’s emotional vocabulary- and their emotional intelligence.

Simple Ways to Build Children’s Emotional Vocabulary

Help Explain the Feeling

“Looks like you're feeling sad that your toy broke…”

Start by labeling the feeling using easy words that they can understand. You can use picture books to pair emotions with facial expressions, as well. Doing this will help them put a word to describe exactly how they feel instead of speechlessly crying or relying on tantrums.

Talk About Your Own Feelings

“This morning, I was so happy when we ate breakfast together...”

Remember to also lead by example. Talk about your own feelings and show how you express those emotions. As a parent or caregiver, you are your children’s greatest role model. They will mimic how you speak and what you’re doing. So, be careful with how you express your emotions especially when you are frustrated or angry.

Begin to Use More Complex Feeling Words

“I was surprised when the cat knocked the glass of water off the table…”

Once children have mastered some of the common feelings words (happy, sad, angry, excited) try replacing them with new ones to help grow your child’s vocabulary.

Instead of saying, “I am feeling good,” teach them to say “I am delighted, loved, or content…”

Instead of “I feel sad,” try “I am uncomfortable, worried or concerned…”

Instead of “I am angry,” try “I am embarrassed, overwhelmed or annoyed…”

Read Books Together

Literacy and emotional literacy don’t have to be learned separately! There are many great books that specifically explore emotions, but you can find feelings in any story you read. When you’re reading to young children, ask them to help you figure out what the main character is feeling in certain situations. Use the pictures and the plot as clues to help. This helps them to broaden the range of feelings they can recognize, as well as improve their ability to identify and name feelings in others and in themselves.

Enriching young children’s emotional vocabulary is the first step towards helping them to master their feelings. They start by learning to name their feelings and soon become able to take control of their actions. It also helps build a strong sense of self at a young age, which will definitely help children succeed as they grow and develop into adulthood.

Susan Dannemiller