Building & Nurturing Friendships
Childhood friendships can have such a positive impact on our lives. From childhood, those first friendships we make become part of our most cherished memories as we grow up. Valentine’s Day, which was earlier this week, is often seen as a day to commemorate love, relationships, and joy. We thought this was a great opportunity to offer some tips on ways children can establish and nurture their young friendships- and how you can support them on this journey. At any age, friendships help us to feel like we belong. They bring extra love and happiness into our lives and have a huge benefit to our emotional, physical, and mental development, and our overall well-being.
There are so many reasons to embrace friendships and support children in discovering their remarkable value. Below are some tips on how to help young children build and nurture those important relationships.
Understand How Children Play & Develop Friendships
To support children in making friends, understanding the developmental stages that relate to play and friendships is important.
Up until the age of three, children are more likely to engage in 'parallel play' with others instead of actively engaging with one another. This means playing near other children but not quite with them. In this stage, they may not even recognize that another child is playing in the same area as them. Even parallel play can be a time for children to discover friendships though, so give children plenty of opportunities to be near one another.
Children then move to 'associative play' at around age 3 to 4 years, where they will be slightly more interactive during play activities. During this stage they may talk and interact with peers, attempting to influence each other's play activity. Around the age of 4, children enter 'cooperative play' — at this stage, children start taking a mutual interest in one another and the activity at hand.
Talk About Different Friendships
There are many skills that are required to effectively make friends. Encourage children to share toys and books, to take turns listening and talking, and to be kind to each other.
Role Model Positive Friendships: As adults, we are role models to children each day, and they take cues from us as to how to behave with others.
With this in mind, make a conscious effort to role model positive behavior when engaging with others. This means using a respectful tone, positive body language, smiling, sharing conversation, and being helpful — all skills that go a long way toward helping us develop and strengthen our own friendships!
Encourage Connections
Keep an eye out for children who may be developing a friendly connection and nurture it. If a child is watching another child, you might invite them to join an activity together if both children are happy and willing. For example, by saying “Jason, I can see that Maria might like this book too — should we all read it together?”
Provide A Secure Social Environment
It’s hard for young children to make friends if they feel very anxious. They need to know that we’ll be there for them when they need us- that if they run into a challenging situation with a peer, we can help guide them through. Children with lots of anxiety tend to perceive the world to be especially threatening. This can lead to problems that can interfere with the development of social skills, and make it very difficult for a child to make friends. If adults can provide a safe and secure environment, and help young children better understand the world around them, they will be more likely to reach out to peers to connect and develop a friendship.